


Friendship is... a pair of pants?

by rdm_ation



Series: Odds and Ends [8]
Category: Glee
Genre: Crack, Gen, verse: odds and ends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-07
Updated: 2012-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-03 05:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/377550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rdm_ation/pseuds/rdm_ation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you think that those mustard colored pants are popping up everywhere, well, that's because they are. Kurt would like to plead coercion in this case.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friendship is... a pair of pants?

**Author's Note:**

> Pure crack that is all thanks to [this post](http://reidanheadquarters.tumblr.com/post/20572636351/reidanheadquarters-so-is-someone-gonna-write).

Kurt really doesn’t understand how he’s ended up here, in Rachel Berry’s wardrobe, but he supposes helping her dress herself can be considered ‘helping humankind’. Or it should be.

Moreover, he really isn’t sure why Blaine insisted on tagging along – he put it down to his weird attachment to Rachel. He’s used to New Directions being vaguely incestuous, anyway.

Currently, he’s rummaging through her closet for an outfit suitable to be seen with when they go out to an actual, nice restaurant (not Breadstix) as a double date. Naturally, he’ll be offering his clothing-finding services to Finn, too. For every ‘half decent if worn with something plain’ item he finds, he finds 4 or 5 that fall into the ‘should never be worn ever’ category.

He sighs. This is harder than even he thought.

That’s when he spots them.

So far, he’s managed to keep his scathing remarks to a minimum, but these are  _atrocious._

“Rachel,” he says, brandishing the mustard-yellow pants at her, “what in god’s name are these? And why haven’t they been burned?”

She ignores his question in favor of clapping her hands together. “I forgot I owned those!” She says, happily.

_Oh god._

“Blaine, please tell her that mustard is a color that shouldn’t be allowed to be worn by anyone with half a brain.”

“Oh, no, I like them,” is Blaine’s contribution.

“You should try them on!” Rachel chimes in. Kurt does not like the way his boyfriend’s face lights up at that suggestion. He rolls his eyes. Those two will be the death of him. Reluctantly, he lets them be taken out of his hands.

As Blaine vanishes into the bathroom to wrestle with pants that by the looks of things should be far too small, Kurt shoots a glare in Rachel’s direction and turns back to his work of finding her a proper outfit. He’s narrowed it down to one of her less offensive dresses (it’s purple, but not patterned – he shouldn’t feel as proud of this discovery as he does) and is on his way to ask if she has any plain black sheer tights when Blaine re-enters the room.

Kurt stops short.

_Those pants leave absolutely nothing to the imagination,_  he thinks. He’s seen it all before, of course, but they are actually  _indecently_  tight. This, coming from Kurt Hummel, lover of skinny jeans in all their forms, is quite a statement to make.

He can’t quite form words.

Rachel, of course, doesn’t have this problem.

“Oh wow they look so good on you, Blaine, how do they fit you? They’re pretty tight on me…” she is practically squealing, she’s that excited.

“Ooh! Maybe they’re like the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants jeans, wouldn’t that be awesome?”

Blaine has now found the mirror, and is twisting around to try and see his own ass – or Kurt thinks he is, he might be too busy staring himself to make an unbiased judgment. He tunes back into Rachel just as she has another bright idea.

“- and you should totally try them on too, Kurt, let’s see if this works. Shoo, both of you go back into the bathroom but don’t you  _dare_  get sidetracked and start making out or something.”

Kurt figures that the quickest way to shut her up would be to comply, so he does, leaving her with strict orders to try the dress on with plain black stockings.

“Really, Blaine, this isn’t going to work. We’ve tried to share clothes before, remember? Our pants just don’t look good on each other. And I maintain these pants are hideous and will look good on no one.” Just imagining Rachel in them makes him shudder.

Blaine strips the pants off and hands them over, grabbing his own almost-as-offensively-colored highwaters from the floor and puts them back on.

Kurt quickly changes into them, and is surprised when they do, indeed, fit him.

“Strange,” he says.

“Very weird,” Blaine agrees, still far too happily for Kurt’s liking.

“Rachel is going to have a field day, isn’t she?” Kurt sighs, resigning himself to this. “Come on, let’s get this over with.

They both go back into Rachel’s room, and Kurt is pleased to note that the dress does look rather good with the tights he picked out. That’s all he has time to think, though, before she’s talking rapidly again.

“Oh wow they fit you like a glove too, Kurt, they really are like the ones in that series. Oh my god! What if we use that idea between us? And then when we go to New York we can mail them back and forth and write letters and it would be so much fun, oh, can we, Kurt?”

Blaine is nodding his enthusiastic assent beside him, and they both have their best puppy-dog expressions aimed at him; Kurt is entirely powerless to refuse.

“Oh, alright. But I have complete control over what you pair with them, you hear me?”

Rachel nods.

“Oh and Rachel? This isn’t a ‘sisterhood’. Just so we’re clear.”


End file.
